2007

This has been an intense year in every sense of the word, I proudly finished my studies of EMT and hold my diploma now, it was challenging but such a good feeling of accomplishment.
For the first time in a long time, I feel ok again, and decided to make this blog personal, since there is so much to share and my mom believes I should be writing so there I go, always listening to good advice and hoping my friends will help me with my grammar and spelling. Like everything else lately writing in English should be yet another challenge.
The purpose of this is to work on my fear of being judged and criticized, my need for being accepted and acceptance of myself.
Talking to friends this year I learned so much, people that were working after Dean and the Tabasco flooding all had something in common that I found so interesting.
We all were doing things that were considered very good, very hard, involved a good deal of self sacrifice and were at times borderline masochist, depriving ourselves from sleep and pushing our physical bodies to the limit.
"Other people do drugs", I heard, but it was so interesting to see what we all had in common, a need of self acceptance, a beaten up self esteem, a troubled childhood, and the desperate need of being liked and accepted.
This is the first time as well that I had to deal with having people talk about me, and have opinions about me, I was happy this was for doing something good, but even that would be criticized by the secretary of tourism who told me flat out that she was so disappointed with me, for making the foreigners look like heroes after all their hard work. No thank you, no gracias just a disappointing look.
My opinion on the organizations was also dented, I felt hopeless and helpless and at the end I have to accept that people, organizations and government all have their good side and not so good one, and their agendas, and their priorities no one is unconditional or follow their principles totally.
But focusing on the positive side helps, belong but remain independent, and follow my Dad’s advice, my instincts, and the signs and remain, above all, certain that I will never be put in front of a situation that I cannot handle, I will always have the tools and the means to do something about it. And the outcome will be the best for all of the ones involved since the principle of these actions are based on love and good intentions.
I have 2 new roommates now, very grateful, who fill my agenda with new projects to help them help themselves, I have a 10 year old with a good example, who thinks his mom is one of the best people in the world according to his mom’s day card, and a partner who makes things easier at home, who is not controlling, accepting and loving. All ideal setting for what ever comes next, if it is a time to regroup and rest, so be it, If it is another challenge, bring it on! I am definitely ready.
I am grateful this year to so many my paid work is going good, www.cancunmap is out and the Playa map is great I hear. I made new friends and the old ones are still there making my life beautiful.